Wanted to remember some thoughts from Life With Intention Online last round (February 2016).
Wanted to jot a few thoughts from the 2.10.16 coaching call recording. Left off around 40:00, excited to keep listening because of something I’ll note below.
The cookie flavor analogy really rang true (the person who had . Just the right word to contain all the deeper meanings associated. In my intentions the fresh breeze one is like that – I know just what it means even though all the elements are not articulated in separate words. Also, my “take care of my body like my home” intention feels like this to me.
Not sure why this realization was triggered by this call, but I am having an emerging realization about career intention. I value money, but I feel really shameful and guilty about this (the “do what you love” stuff of my 20s all coming up). Not excess, but security and feeling fairly compensated. I have kind of been using my umbrella intention for my career, but frankly, it’s not enough. I wouldn’t take a job JUST because it would enable me to be a fresh breeze that lifts others up. I also want to make money doing so. But man, I don’t know if I can make an intention saying as much. It just feels so greedy. I wonder if this is part of what is making the SAHM decision so hard as well – won’t be making any money for a time, or not nearly what I would if I were working full-time.
Posted 29 February 2016 – 05:55 PM
The module four podcasts always knock a lot loose for me. Big realizations as I listened to career, possessions and personal habits today and yesterday.
Timeline, timeline, timeline!!!!!!!!! I ALWAYS forget about this when module 3 comes around. This is the third time I’ve taken LWIO, and module 3 always kicks my ass. I have never managed to put together an action plan, because I get so intimidated by the prospect of doing something forrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr. My ego haaaaaaaates that I’ve never done up a plan. It was my main goal for this round of the course, and then I discovered I was pregnant and have had exactly enough bandwidth to keep myself rested (like, going to bed at 7:00 with my toddler), fed, and doing a passable job at work. I always have to remind myself that IT. IS. OK. that I haven’t done an action plan. Jess even says it is ok. She reminds us that we do NOT need to do a module 3 action plan to live our values in the present moment. HOWEVER: I am not doing that, either. So I still want to try a very simple one.
I came into this round ego-hell-bent on setting VBIs for the career area. I am in a trap of thinking that I either need to a) know what I’m doing at any given point in the future or if I don’t, not enjoy what I’m doing now and strive to figure out the future instead. And! Maybe having VBIs would be the magic formula for knowing this!!! But nothing has become clear, and I still don’t have any more VBI for career except maybe the compensation/mutual respect aspects that I wrote about somewhere. Actually, one of the coaching calls helped me realize that really BEING at work while I’m at work would help me feel better about my job. And so I’ve been working on that. I do peek at some personal stuff online, but only during lunch for a minute. And I do feel better. I actually really value separation of work and personal time, and I was letting an illusion that I was doing work at home in the evenings – I am not, but I was telling myself that I was, just because I’m a teacher and teachers work so hard outside of school! (most do, and I have in the past, but given my current circumstances, I’m not right now) – be an excuse for not focusing on work all day during the work day. It feels much better to be home physically and mentally when home, and be at school physically and mentally when at school, and drop all the guilt and the time swaps and mind games that I was playing with myself.
Just being in the present moment, and being gently aware of what might be next, is what I’ve been focusing on. That’s another big learning from this round. I’m a lot more peaceful. I’m not 100% peaceful, but am in a better place. I do not know what will happen when baby #2 arrives. But it’s become increasingly clear over the time we’ve been working on this round that I’d like to stay at my school rather than switch schools, and given that, my options become more limited (actually a good thing – narrows the choices and makes it easier to move ahead).
Ha! So why am I still so worried about creating an action plan? I suppose it’s a shiny penny. I’m going with it, though. I will post this now so I don’t lose it and make another post with the plan.
Posted 29 February 2016 – 06:15 PM
In my efforts to wordsmith, I think I’ve left out the meat of some of the things I most deeply value in my career, which currently looks like me being a teacher. So: mind dump:
Currently, have used my “I am a fresh breeze that lifts you up” umbrella intention to work for my career, and it isn’t completely working.
Some words/thoughts. Not wordsmithed yet!
1) Innovation, can-do attitude, seeking positive and out-of-the-box solutions, leading from where I’m at, ownership of processes and outcomes, contributing where able, collaborating with others for the best results (Most of what the “fresh breeze” means to me)
2) Deep demonstrated respect for ALL people I work with, especially children. Children want to learn, people do the best they can, assume positive intentions (pretty much the rest of the “fresh breeze” meaning)
3) Ongoing learning/improvement of my craft.
4) Separation of life energies (personal and work time/tasks/locations). Consciously limiting the amount of time that is spent on my work, and if I give extra time, give it freely, not out of guilt or games
5) Mutual respect and appropriate compensation. Giving my all and expecting fair remuneration in return (if outside employment).
How can I work to include more of this in my current job, and where I can’t, give myself grace?
AND (leading toward my action plan) – how can I be grateful for the job and life I DO have, and the opportunities to live these values daily?
Posted 29 February 2016 – 06:19 PM
Another point of resistance that I have is that if I am thankful for something or involved in a gratitude practice, that I will do that thing forever. So, I’m not 100% convinced I am passionately in love with my current school/system/colleagues/etc. But if I am actively grateful for where I am, that doesn’t mean I have to stay there forever, and if I AM grateful, then I will be happier for the time I AM there.
Same with my motherhood situation. It’s kicking my ass. I don’t have time for anything beyond the basics, it seems. No crocheting, little reading, few outings with friends. It’s wearing. But there is sooooo much to be grateful for.
For my action plan, I just want to do a few minutes of a gratitude journal every day. It’s something I can do. It will help me feel better about lots of areas. But am I going about it backwards? By starting from the action? Of course I know I am, but my baby and husband are almost home so I had to at least get this much down!!!!!
Geez, you’d think I drank 17 cups of coffee today! But no! Just that something plinked into place on the walk home.
Another thing worth remembering: I have my best LWIO realizations when walking.